We all remember the story of Troy and Lee Ann Miller, who were arrested in 2004 after it was discovered that they thought torturing a child with an electric dog collar, shooting her with a pellet gun, beating her with a plastic pipe, and performing impromptu dental work with a hammer was socially acceptable parenting. You know the bar is set low when the county's human services director says "the good news is that she didn't die." Good to see that's where we're setting the bar up there. At least the parents didn't beat the kid to death.
Then there was the story of Eugene Zapata, who killed his wife in 1976 and then buried her body in Juneau County for 24 years before exhuming her and relocating her to a storage locker in Sun Prairie. What, was he concerned that Juneau County was becoming a popular burial ground for murder victims?
And now, we've got a religious sect that left a dead woman sit on the toilet for a couple months while they continued to collect her Social Security checks.
When you drive into Juneau County, you see a billboard that says "Juneau County: Worth a Closer Look." Sadly, the only people who should be looking closer at Juneau County these days are law enforcement or Mary Lazich, for whom Juneau County might be the perfect place to locate all of Milwaukee's sex offenders. They've already got the Sand Ridge Secure Treatment Center and a prison up there. Just build an electric fence around the whole damn county and dump all the miscreants in the pen. We can rename the whole damn place Oz, and the correctional institution could be our own little Emerald City.
As someone who travels through Necedah more often than he cares to, I highly recommend you restrict your stops to either the Kwik Trip on the corner of State Highways 21 and 80, or the Subway about 100 yards south of there. If you go to the Subway, for the love of God, don't get out of the car. Use the drive-thru. Under no circumstance should you go near the Immaculate Conception Chapel.
Consider this the Playground equivalent of a State Department travel advisory. If you get out anywhere else, you are likely to be accosted by Catholic nuts or people who will try to convince you that the Necedah National Wildlife Refuge is just a conspiracy by the United Nations to take over their land. These are the kind of people you should only talk to if you're getting paid to talk to them.
Trust me on this. I would know.
Then there was the story of Eugene Zapata, who killed his wife in 1976 and then buried her body in Juneau County for 24 years before exhuming her and relocating her to a storage locker in Sun Prairie. What, was he concerned that Juneau County was becoming a popular burial ground for murder victims?
And now, we've got a religious sect that left a dead woman sit on the toilet for a couple months while they continued to collect her Social Security checks.
When you drive into Juneau County, you see a billboard that says "Juneau County: Worth a Closer Look." Sadly, the only people who should be looking closer at Juneau County these days are law enforcement or Mary Lazich, for whom Juneau County might be the perfect place to locate all of Milwaukee's sex offenders. They've already got the Sand Ridge Secure Treatment Center and a prison up there. Just build an electric fence around the whole damn county and dump all the miscreants in the pen. We can rename the whole damn place Oz, and the correctional institution could be our own little Emerald City.
As someone who travels through Necedah more often than he cares to, I highly recommend you restrict your stops to either the Kwik Trip on the corner of State Highways 21 and 80, or the Subway about 100 yards south of there. If you go to the Subway, for the love of God, don't get out of the car. Use the drive-thru. Under no circumstance should you go near the Immaculate Conception Chapel.
Consider this the Playground equivalent of a State Department travel advisory. If you get out anywhere else, you are likely to be accosted by Catholic nuts or people who will try to convince you that the Necedah National Wildlife Refuge is just a conspiracy by the United Nations to take over their land. These are the kind of people you should only talk to if you're getting paid to talk to them.
Trust me on this. I would know.
7 comments:
And Sheryl Albers is retiring to spend MORE time at home.
Her voting address is in Reedsburg, which is in Sauk County.
George Hesselberg recommends the Little Crane Cafe in Necedah for rhubarb pie.
I used to drive through there fairly regularly. I never even slowed down at the shrine. But I might stop at the Little Crane if I pass that way again.
At your own risk. Just remember, the Subway and the Kwik Trip are only a couple hundred yards up the road if you need a safe haven - you know, should the black helicopter crowd chase after you.
Most of Sheryl's district is Juneau County physically, which supported her more strongly than Will Boros.
In fact, Juneau County is entirely in Sheryl's district.
I'm sure many of your experiences in Juneau County relate to your former work in the legislature.
Dear Recess Supervisor, This is the Rhubbarb Pie Lady from the Little Crane in Necedah. I DARE you to veer off the 21/58 intersection and pay us a visit at the cafe!We might be able to pleasantly change your mind that all is not totally bizzare here in Necedah! I'll even buy you a cup of coffee and piece of pie! Best regards, A. Parrish Owner
Oh dear, word has gotten out that I like free food. This is bad news.
I do like pie, you know.
Post a Comment